Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
