Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
