if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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