you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We're too hungover to prance.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
