is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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