I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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