i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
