So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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