Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
