Jerry, you need to find god
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
