it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sext me about skeletons
My vagina is very pro this idea
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
