im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
