I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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