we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
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Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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