I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize