Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......