I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you traded sex for a burrito?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook