I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had