Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?