Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...