So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
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When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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