accomplished twins. life is a go
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drake has all the answers
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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