Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
