I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
