I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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