i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
