I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
