PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
