You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
