coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
