I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
