i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
