i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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