The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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