You're so nebulous sometimes
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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