This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
