the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
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