Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
