You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
