just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
