Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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