Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
