hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
