Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
