Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
