therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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