on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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