His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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