I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
