how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
