Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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