drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I will be naked everywhere
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
