This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
