My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
