That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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