How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize