Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
