So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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