doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
