Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
