dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
