I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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