WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
