wrigley field is MILF paradise
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize