you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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