Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
