is your mom at the bar?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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