Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
