well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Houston, we have a blender
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
