Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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