please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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